


Neat It Up

by ShitMouth



Category: A Song of Ice and Fire - George R. R. Martin, Game of Thrones (TV)
Genre: A bit too "Oh woe me" for my taste, Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, F/M, Family Therapy, Gen, I don't like to write modern AUs but I'll make an exception, My interpretation of MalcolmXavier's characters, This is the fic of a fic so fic squared
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-07-15
Updated: 2018-07-15
Packaged: 2019-06-11 01:36:16
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 1
Words: 7,112
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15304536
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ShitMouth/pseuds/ShitMouth
Summary: “Hi everyone”Gods, I hope this works.Thought Lyanna Mormont as she watched her longtime friend enter her office accompanied by her ex husband and two kids; none of them bothering to return her greeting, except for Nym, that is.Uh oh. That certainly did not bode well for the incoming task that lied ahead of her.





	Neat It Up

**Author's Note:**

  * For [MalcolmXavier](https://archiveofourown.org/users/MalcolmXavier/gifts).



> This is a gift for MalcolmXavier, who asked me to write a work centered around a Modern AU of his _A Witerfell Direwolf in king Bolton's Court_ fic where the extremely dysfunctional Bolton family from said fic has to engage in family therapy to sort out their numerous issues. This was supposed to be a one-shot, but, as you can see, it grew and grew and...I'm going to have to split it into two separate chapters.
> 
> But I digress. Malc, this is for you, pal.

“Hi everyone” _Gods, I hope this works_. Thought Lyanna Mormont as she watched her longtime friend enter her office accompanied by her ex husband and two kids; none of them bothering to return her greeting, except for Nym, that is. _Uh oh_. That certainly did not bode well for the incoming task that lied ahead of her. Not that Domeric was the sort of person who was considerate enough to return a salute, but Arya’s and Randyll’s rude silence was certainly more shocking, which was a testament to how tense the situation already was in the Bolton family. _Great, just the perfect mood to face such a situation_... _well, no use in fussing over such menial formalities, I guess_.

 

“Erm…please, take a seat” She immediately felt quite stupid upon saying that, since all four of them had already taken on their respectives seats. _Hell of a help you’re, being redundant and stating the obvious. Wake up, Lyanna! Neat it up and straight to the point._ That was her motto: _Neat it up_. Some of her fellow therapists found it extremely silly of her to use a motto, but she liked its double meaning, as cheesy as it was, and it helped her to focus before a session. And so it was that she decided to stick with it and even go as far as having it engraved on a plaque atop the wall behind her desk, her colleagues’ pompous opinions be damned.

 

“Well, no use beating around the bush. I know you’ve been going through a really hard phase lately, emotionally speaking, so let’s address the sit-”

 

“I’d hardly call what’s been now years a “phase”” Of course, Dom had to interrupt and delay the start of the session just to try and correct her as if he were some expert on the subject. _Oh, believe me, on that we agree. If what I know of you is any indication, then tension must be the natural order of things when it comes to living with a 24/7 pedantic prick such as you._ Nonetheless, Lyanna opted to bite her tongue and ignore the issue. _Better leave that for later, I’m sure it will pop up several times during our session._ She knew it was a bit unfair of her to place all of the blame for Arya’s life being so miserable on him, and it could be argued that there were lots of far worse people than him in the obnoxious’ pecking order, namely his late father and half brother; but still, he could be grating like no other. To this very day, she still had lots of trouble coming to grips with the idea of him having been her friend’s husband till practically two years ago, much less the father of her four kids. Arya Stark never seemed of the lovestruck sort, so it came as a sudden shock to everyone when she got married at the young age of 16, nevermind the fact that it was to someone like Domeric Bolton. But then again, nobody thought she would get pregnant during tenth grade at secondary school. _We all are easily impressionable at some point in our lives, it seems_. And so here she was, married and divorced to a certified prick with whom she needed to amend relations for their children’s sake. But it was best not to delve too much on it for the time being; for that, too, there would be time later on during the session.

 

“As I said, it would be better if we started to address the situation, examining its several possible causes so as to try to come up with potential solutions to the points of contention and distress, alright? Let’s start…” She looked around inspecting the four faces and decided to begin with the only one who looked willing to collaborate “Nym?” She could not help but to chuckle internally upon seeing the young girl practically jump at the chance to intervene, but of course, that was to be expected. After all, Nymeria had been the one to approach Lyanna with the idea of a therapy session. _No wonder she’s Arya’s favourite. Her enthusiasm and willingness to take matters into her own hands are certainly admirable_ “What do you think are the causes for the four of you being here?”

 

“First of all, I’d like to thank you for taking the time to help us, Lyanna”

 

“No need to thank me, I’m a family friend, and it’s my job, after all. But thank you”

 

“You’re welcome. Even so, it was very considerate of you to accept my proposal and be willing to put up with me and my family” Lyanna couldn’t help but notice how she seemed to be looking at her father and brother out of the corner of her eye while saying that. “Gods know they can be-”

 

“Could you please toss the self indulging ceremonies aside and go straight to the point? I mean, the point of this meeting is to toss shit at each other so that we can get a pat on our backs after a few exercises in self pity, so no need for patronising explanations”

 

“Has anyone asked you, Randyll?”

 

“Please, don’t fight each other. Stay calm and do this slowly” tried to intervene Lyanna.

 

“Well, “we all” are here, so it’s obvious that I’m going to be asked at some point.” Continued Randyll ignoring his sister, she hoped the situation wouldn’t escalate after that rude _we all_ gesture of his. Controlling the pacing of a session was key in its success. It could all go down the toilet if it reached a boiling point too soon “Other people’s opinions are important too, whether they have your stamp of approval or not, Nym”

 

“Randyll, please keep quiet and don’t interrupt till it’s your turn” Cut the soft and distant voice of Arya. This seemed to have the desired effect on her son, who stared intently at his mother with a strange look before proceeding to lift his hand and do a zipping gesture over his mouth.

 

“Thanks, Randyll” Said Lyanna with her most reassuring smile “Now please, continue, Nym. And this time try to cut straight to the subject at hand”

 

“As I was saying, and as you will surely have noticed, our familiar relationships have been quite strained as of late due to several reasons. This has taken a toll on all of us, especially on mother” She paused to look at her mother and smile at her “I came here because I firmly believ- no: I know that if we all put some effort into it, we will be able to solve this. I’m not naive enough so as to expect a reconciliation between mother and Dom or something along those lines, of course; but a more civic and harmonious communication is not too much to ask, I think”

 

“Very good” She paused for a second before turning to Randyll “What are your reasons?”

 

“Same” He huffed.

 

“It’s your turn now, you can be as open about your feelings as you want”

 

“What can I say? Same as her. Life at home, both homes, sucks. I guess it won’t hurt to try this” He simply crossed his arms and leaned back on his chair in a manner that told everyone he wasn’t about to add anything more. _Quite the sparse one, aren’t we?_ She could only hope he wouldn’t burst out later on once she pressed him a bit more, she had a bad feeling about Randyll’s mood today.

 

“Ok” She turned to face Domeric.

 

“Me? I was in my studio recording some music when I got a call from my daughter telling me I had to assist to some sort of session if I wanted to, and I quote textually “prove you’re worthy of being called father”. I was practically dragged into this”

 

“Nobody put a gun to your head. I’m sure there must be another reason for you coming here” She insisted, unsatisfied by his explanation.

 

“What’s more to say? She was quite insistent with her non-stop phone calls, and so I ultimately acquiesced. In truth, she should consider herself fortunate that I decided to entertain her childish wishes. Besides, with me being present, I’ll save my son from being used as the sacrificial lamb for this farce”

 

“Such a selfless altruistic man you are, Dom” Cut Nymeria. Lyanna felt she needed to intervene again “How dare you act lik-”

 

“Nobody is going to use no one as nothing. That’s not the point of this therapy” Calmly interrupted Lyanna while looking intently at Nym’s father “I know you think of this as a farce, Domeric. But so far, this has helped all of you open yourselves to each other, and we have barely started” _Gods help me, I’m right, we have barely started and we already have had two incidents._ “I promise to you, once we are through with this, you’ll all be more aware of yourselves and more prepared to face your issues” She didn’t know who she was trying to convince: him or herself. Probably both. _Now to the next one._ She turned to face the small thin frame of Arya, who had her gaze fixed on the floor ”Arya?” This caused her friend to lift her head and stare at her with a puzzled look.  Lyanna had been so busy paying too much attention to Domeric and thinking of how to make sure the session started without any incidents that she didn’t notice how emaciated she looked “It’s your turn. Why did you decide to come here?”

 

“I...” Arya looked around the room before lowering her gaze again “I’ve come because everything in my life is going down the drainer and I’m an absolute failure who can’t figure out her own life” _Azor’s sake, this is bad. I’m going to have to approach this very carefully_ _if I want to make progress with her without  destroying her self-esteem even more. Pick the right questions._

 

 

“An-and…what…” Problem was, she was so taken aback by Arya’s response, she couldn’t manage to come up with the appropiate words; no, she was so afraid of hurting her friend, and in front of her children at that, she didn’t have the guts to ask what needed to be asked. Her indecision was dragging on for too long, and judging by how sharp cutting the silence was, the rest had noticed it too.

 

“Mom..” Nym’s squeezed her mother’s hand to comfort her, but her voice could barely contain her sadness.

 

 _This is it!_ _No use beating around the bush, Lyanna. You need to pull your pants up and continue before they start to bicker among themselves. She’s Arya, damnit! Remember what she used to tell you: Fear cuts deeper than swords, and silence is more dreadful than any words._ She steeled herself before confronting her friend again.

 

“What do you think are the reasons behind your life being a failure? Why do you think you’re a failure?” _That’s it_ , _be frank with her, no matter how blunt or rude you may sound. She would do the same if our places were switched._ Arya lifted her gaze again and looked intently at Lyanna, then turned her head to look at the others. Now it was her turn to gather up her courage and grab the beast by its horns.

 

“Where do I begin” She sighed before continuing.

 

“Oh, I almost forgot. If you excuse me” Lyanna stood up from her chair and rushed to her desk. She grabbed eight squeeze balls from one of the drawers and went back to the circle of chairs to hand a pair to each of them. “We have now gone past phase 1, so now we proceed into the next stage. You’ll notice the difference in colour in the balls I’ve handed you. The green one marked with a circle is the positive ball, and the red one marked with an x is the negative ball” She went back to her seat “Please, grab the green one with your right hand and the other with your left hand” She awaited till all four of them had done as instructed “Negative ball is for negative emotions, squeezing it means frustration and provides catharsis. Whenever you have to express discomfort with something or someone, you squeeze it. The positive ball is for positive emotions, squeezing it means reassurance and provides comfort. Whenever you have to express, point out or compliment something good about something or someone, squeeze it. Think of them as flaws and virtues, respectively” She looked at them again “Any doubts?”

 

“So” Said Randyll “One could say the green one is like a hand or shoulder we want to squeeze or pat, while the red one is like a neck we want to choke, right?” _Exemplarily illustrated._

 

“That’s a bit too visceral of a description, but I guess you could say so” Conceded Lyanna. _And now that I have their full attention_. “Please, Arya, continue. What do you think are your failings as a person and/or parent?”

 

“As I was about to say. I’m a good for nothing dumbass who caught the stupidity disease and got knocked up at 15” she was squeezing her red ball with as much strength as her thin wrists allowed her “Of course, then I made the mistake of marrying the annoying, egoistical, sexist manchild who got me pregnant; who’s so self-centered, he won’t bother to lift a finger and help me raise the kids we’ve had, unless one of them happens to look enough like him to appeal to his narcissism and make him forget his pathological jealousy for the briefest of moments, that is”

 

“I see you like to pin all of the blame on me, but then again, that was to be expected of you” Like Arya, Dom was squeezing his own red ball “It’s also admirable how you’re about to talk about your own faults, but, as soon you see an opportunity, you proceed to use me as the scapegoat for said problems.”

 

“If I’m pinning something on you, it is because it's your own damn fault! I’m not using you as my stupid anything!” Arya’s face was starting to contort with rage.

 

“Oh, but that’s exactly what you’re doing right now at this very exact instant. In fact, it’s what you used to do almost practically everyday when we were still together. I’m sure you regret having divorced me and not being able to do that anymore on a daily basis”

 

“I don’t-”

 

“Please, don’t interrupt me while I’m talking, it’s very rude of you. I’m not the one who approached you that night at that party. I was the one who was drugged, not you; you, on the other hand, went willingly to me and took advantage of the situation. Were I as egotistical as you like to accuse me of being, I would have tossed you aside as soon as I discovered you were pregnant, since it was your own fault”

 

“Oh, don’t need to remind me of that. Want me to assume my mistakes? You got your wish. Had I not been so incredibly stupid at that time and known how you actually were deep down, I would have thought twice about it before getting near ten feet of you and making one of the biggest mistakes in my life. But I was stupid, so stupid so as to fall for that poorly acted facade you putted on next when you said you were going to take responsibility and help me. Gods, how could I be so-”

 

“Stupid"? Were you about to say that? Stupid this, stupid the other. That’s your go to word for whenever you’re mad with something. I gotta say, it is an interesting change to hear you use that word to describe yourself for once, so please, don’t stop, go on.”

 

“Yeah, stupid for accepting your marriage proposal! Stupid for thinking you were going to be a more attentive father and husband with time!” Tears of rage were starting to fill her friend’s eyes.

 

“You’re not stupid, mom. You...just were young, is all” Reassured again Nymeria squeezing her green ball. The girl then turned to look at her father “It was Dom’s fault for not being honest with you” She was now squeezing her red ball with calm anger.

 

“Oh, I see you keep insisting on rudely referring to me by my first name in a futile attempt to show me that you don’t consider me worthy of being your father. That’s fine, I’ll entertain your whims. But let me assure you, I’m your father, no matter how hard you may try to deny it” Were it not for his patronising tone of voice and, well, practically everything that came before it, Lyanna could have even felt proud for Domeric’s last statement and usage of the green ball.

 

“Being a father isn't a right but a privilege” Nym’s tone of voice was steel cold.

 

“Think what you may if that’s your choice. I hope you’ll learn someday” Suddenly, Domeric’s face sombered “That one does not get to choose their parents. We got to play the hand we are dealt” Once again, Lyanna had to steer the boat before the incoming tide.

 

“Very good, we have identified one of the main points of contention in the family dynamics, which is the circumstances of Arya’s and Domeric’s past marriage. We have also identified its main negative aspects” She took a long breath before continuing “Now, I’d like the four of you to set the more immediately cathartic aspect of this session aside for a moment and try to focus on the positive qualities of each other. No matter our flaws, we all have our own virtues. It's good to be complimented on said attributes by other people; it helps us regain self confidence and provide us with a centerpiece from which to start our betterment as persons” She turned her attention to Nym “See how you were using your green ball while giving support to your mother? Now do that again, but this time, try to set the hostility aside and focus only on her and on what you think are her best qualities. Ok? Tell her why you think she’s not a failure”

 

“Well, she is always there to support me, all of us” Lyanna could have sworn she heard Randyll snigger at that, but she wasn’t sure, so she decided to ignore the matter for the time being “She’s brave, like the bravest person I know. I still remember how she was never afraid to confront any of the meanies who bullied me at or outside the school” A big smile appeared on the girl’s face “Mark Frey, Mark Umber, Cedric Ryswell, Walder Frey...It didn’t matter who it was: she would stand her ground in front of everyone who dared to be mean to me or…” _...or Royce._ She understood perfectly why Nymeria left her younger brother’s name unmentioned. It was the same reason why she had omitted her eldest brother’s from the list of bullies despite the fact that Robar used to be the most persistent of them, if also the least cruel. _Sooner or later, the issue is going to have to be brought to the conversation and I’m already dreading the prospect._ Deep down, Lyanna knew it was the core reason for all of them being here. It was also one of the reasons for why she had decided to rush to this part of the therapy, so all four of them would all be in their best spirits before addressing the elephant in the room. _And what an elephant_. Almost as big of a scandal as when Domeric’s half brother got arrested and sentenced for all those murders eight years ago, the incident with Royce shook the whole town when it happened. It came as no surprise when the other townsfolks started to whisper behind their backs; of course, Lyanna didn’t approve of it but she could see where the gossips came from. _First Ramsay and then, six years later...Ugh, concentrate on what Nym’s saying and leave that for later!_ Yes, it was better to concentrate on the subject at hand.

 

 “She even went to confront those rude security guys who pestered us that time at that mall in King’s Landing! They were all scary looking but she didn’t flinch even once while calling them on their pathetic macho act! Also, she broke her back everyday to make sure there was extra money on the table and we could have a good education” Lyanna had to agree with the girl’s statement. She had always felt a great degree of admiration towards her friend for not letting the circumstances stand in her way and managing to raise four kids at such a young age almost on her own, since it reminded her of how her own mother had raised her and her sisters “Simply put, mother is the best person I know!” At this point, Nym’s green ball looked closer to a worm than anything remotely spherical in shape. The girl soon rose from her seat to hug her mother, who returned the embrace. “Thanks Nym. You have done a good job. Now you have given emotional support to your mother and served as example for your family on how to proceed in this phase” Lyanna looked at Randyll  “Randyll?” The boy was sitting in his chair looking at the scene with a neutral expression

 

“I would have liked to say something of my own, but I think my sister took the words right out of my mouth, so I’ll compliment her instead, can I?” Randyll looked at her as if he were asking for permission. She nodded and he turned to look at his sister “Nym, you’re one of the most annoying, bossy, nosey, obtrusive and petulant persons I know of” A sly grin appeared on his face upon seeing his sister frown at the words. Suddenly, the grin turned into a warm smile ”But despite all your faults, I honestly think you are the very heart and soul of this family. You say mom did a good job of raising us, and you’re the living proof of it. Whenever something happens, you’re always there to calm things down when we need it with your upfront honesty and enthusiasm. Believe me when I say this: it wouldn’t be the same without you, honest.” _That was...easy._ She had been expecting another confrontation between the siblings but, so far, it had been the less eventful intervention. She examined the boy’s face: as far as she could know, his expression and words seemed and sounded genuine, yet for some reason, she couldn’t shake this weird feeling she had with him. She still remembered how somber the boy’s face looked upon arriving at the office. _Anyway, now it’s their parents’ turn._

 

“Now that you have seen your children intervene and seen how to proceed, I’d like you to do same and try to say good things about each other. Examine your past marriage, discern any positive points it may have had. Think, why did you two decide to get married? Unless I’m mistaken, there wasn’t pressure from any of your families. Domeric?”

 

“Didn’t you hear me before? I had just finished my last year at college, and I had been dragged by some classmates to a party to celebrate. Problem was, Ramsay was there. There were lots of high school students there too. My brother, sorry, my bastard brother, as father used to refer to him, thought it would be fun to slip some weird mix of aphrodisiacs and drugs into my drink to see if I would finally have some fun like the other boys. He used to think I was gay; projecting his own insecurities onto me, most like” She had to concede, Domeric’s ability to remain sarcastical even under the most tense of circumstances was absolutely astounding. It was a pity his snarkiness was totally out of place “Anyway, half an hour in and I’m stumbling around the place, touching everybody and everything,  throwing my guts down my throat and about to collapse when a small girl that must be quite a few years my junior holds me and takes me to a room so I can take a rest and...you know the rest. Two or three months later I’m approached by the same girl, who’s visibly pregnant and tells me I’m the father. Then the killing joke dawns on me: a bastard instigating the birth of another bastard? That’s in too poor taste, even for Ramsay, and so I decide to take responsibility, just to stick it to him” _And you are as much of a joker, it seems. Must run in the family._

 

“Thanks for the snarky narration, but I think I told you to say positive things, and so far, you just have elaborated on what you just said to Arya minutes ago” Domeric was about to come up with another remark of his, but she cut him before he had the chance to retort “But it’s okay. It’s obvious you’re having too much fun to think about positive things to say, so I’ll wait till you have relaxed a bit. Till then, take your time and laugh a bit more” It was quite patent he didn’t appreciate Lyanna’s sharing in his sense of humour, judging by his scowl. _Not so funny when it’s the other way around, hey?_ “Please, Arya. I know you’re gonna have a hard time, but try to think of something positive to say about Domeric. Tell us if there was something about him that might have pushed you into marrying him” An incredibly hard task, to say the least, she couldn’t blame Arya for not being able to come up with anything.

 

Anyway, she had to admit that she was curious about what Arya was about to say. They had been friends since before they had entered high school, so she had been there at the party where her friend met and got into bed with the boy who would become her future husband, and been around the following days to hang out with her and hear her gush about how handsome, mysterious, intelligent and other complimentary adjectives he was; but she wanted to know what her friend’s opinion was now that she had the benefit of retrospective. In hindsight, Arya’s sophomore years had been a weird period, mentally speaking. Whether it was the hormones, that had come in suddenly to wreak havoc in her actions like they did with other young teens their age, the social pressure from other girls or the devastating effect that the death of her father a year prior had on her; prone to blushing and daydreaming 15 years old Arya Stark was more along the lines of her then socially vacuous elder sister than the tomboyish, hot headed girl Lyanna had met at the park when she was 10. _I guess she was still hot headed, or else she wouldn’t have gone against her family’s wishes and married Roose Bolton’s son._

 

To say Miss Stark had been livid upon discovering her younger daughter was pregnant would have been an understatement. How could she had been so reckless to make such a mistake? They had made sure to keep most of the dispute behind closed doors, so Lya wasn’t aware as to what was said beyond what little Arya told her, which wasn’t much. One thing was for sure, whatever it was that was said at the Stark home during those months, it was serious enough to cause a deep friction between daughter and mother that would last four years. Estranged from her family and with baby Robar in her arms, the young Stark moved to live with Domeric at the Bolton house, and one year and a wedding later, the other three children were on the way. By then, reality had reared its ugly mug and the fairy tale was over: Roose was a cold man who didn’t spend much time at home, staying out of town for long periods of time, and Domeric soon showed he didn’t have a single parental bone in his body; so the young mom had to put her studies aside while she raised her four toddlers. To make things worse, the old leech died three years later, leaving his numerous debts as family heirloom to his son and daughter in law. Fortunately, she was was ultimately able to overcome the odds, put her life back on track and mend fences with her family in the process.

 

“Okay, I like challenges” It seemed Arya was composed enough to go back to her usual snarkiness. _Now that I think about it, that’s one thing she and Dom seem to have in common._ Of course, Arya was her friend, so she found it a considerably less grating trait in her than in him ”For starters, he can be quite witty, when he’s not being pedantic, that is.  And he’s one hell of a musician, when he is not being pedantic, that is” Lya chuckled but stopped herself upon hearing Domeric snort from his seat.

 

 

“Please, try to stay serious and positive” _Wow, that sounded incredibly corny_. “This is about identifying virtues, not flaws” The last thing they needed was to make him even more uncooperative than he already was.

 

“Well” she bit her lip, deep in thought “Forget about the “pedantic” part, I really appreciated his wit at the time. And he was well learned, and liked to show it. Yeah, he could be really communicative when it came to showing off his knowledge to other people. I learnt lots of things from him that came in quite handy for later when I retook my studies and had to help the kids with their lessons. He should have tried his hand at being a teacher instead of that boring office job of his” A devious smile appeared on her friend’s face. It was obvious that her mood had brightened considerably during the last few minutes “And I immensely enjoyed hearing him use his vast vocabulary to ridicule people we both didn’t like, like Ramsay, Roose or Sansa’s poshy excuse of a boyfriend” She chuckled and turned to look at her former spouse.

 

 “Oh, that reminds me of the best thing about you, Dom. Forget about the rest, the best thing about you is that no matter what you do, you’ll always be better than Joffrey Lannister” She got a chuckle from him with that remark.

 

“Well, it’s not that hard to outshine him. He may have a nice golden mop, but when we are both under the sun” He ran his hand over his bald head in a cheeky manner “Mine shines ever brighter. All gold and no shine with him, I fear” At this point, both of them burst out laughing, to the utter shock of their kids, who were looking at their parents as if they had grown antennae and sprouted tentacles. After a while, they ceased their laughter.

 

“This is funny, I used to mock Sans for her gullibility and vanity when, all this time, it was me who was the naive one. She at least had the good sense to drop Joff when it turned out he was no prince but an insane toad. Me though...so mesmerized I was by the fact that I was now desired too, that it didn’t matter how many dashing boys she rubbed in my face, cause for once, I had a handsome, more intelligent boyfriend of my own...I never stopped to think about what I was doing...”

 

“Hold on a minute, don’t go there aga-” Dom was trying to add something, but Arya cut him.

 

“So tell me Domeric. Why?”

 

“I...”

 

 

“If what you were after was a one night stand, why marry me?” She was piercing him with her stare, her eyes digging for a long awaited answer.

 

“I already told you, I wasn’t after sex. I simply...made a mistake...so I wanted to take responsibility. I-I wasn’t about to let a young girl like you, with a baby to take care of at that, out in the cold!”

 

“So that’s what it was all about: trying to correct a mistake and ease your own conscience? And then, once you got rid of any sense of guilt you may have had, going back to minding your own business? That’s the reason?”

 

“That’s not true, I took care of you-”

 

“Really? Thanks for the help. You clearly helped me a lot, being absent for the most part once the novelty wore off. Do you remember how, when your father died and we had to move to that apartment after the bank took the old house, and I had barely any spare time to myself, it was Ramsay who helped me raise Robar, taking him out to the kindergarten and the park when I was too busy at work? Do you know what it is to have Ramsay, of all people, help me raise one of my kids when my own husband, their own father, can’t bother to do the same? So, which responsibility: sending Royce with your aunt? That’s what you think passes as taking care of your children?

 

“Godsdamnit, I messed it up, okay?!" He exploded "Yeah, I was ridden with guilt! Is that what you wanted to hear?! All my life hating my father and...you got to meet him before he died, so you should have been able to make an approximate idea of how much of a piece of shit he was then. Did you know he used to treat my mother with such coldness he didn’t even bother to assist to her funeral? That the only reason he took Ramsay in at home was because he felt like throwing him a bone after his mother, a former employee of his whom he had practically raped, committed suicide? Hell, isn’t that funny? All of these years looking down on him and the first thing I do upon finishing my studies is to get a girl who’s seven years younger than me pregnant. Such an hilarious sick joke. I still remember vividly when Ramsay told him about the party, can still picture him sending me that complicit look of his, as if telling me “don't think too much about it, I know what I'm talking about, after all, I was the same when I was your age” I should have gotten the memo by then, but I’m a slow learner, so it doesn’t matter, I’ll marry the girl and show him I’m still better than him, that I will never go around doing the same as him, that I at least will be a better father and husband than him. But it seems I’m not that different from him, after all. Why, you ask? Maybe it’s because, responsibility or not, our age gap makes me feel like a sick pedophile; maybe it’s just that I find the idea of having to spend the rest of my life looking after my kids and giving them advice insultingly contradictory, considering I’m the last person one should seek advice from; or maybe it’s because, for some ironic reason, we all end up being like the ones we despise. Thing is, I’m scum, just like my father and my brother. No, I’m even worse than my brother; he at least helped you raise our first son. You said so yourself. My brother, the serial killer, was better than me. A man who died at the gas chamber was better than me!” He threw his red ball with fury against the window. “What does that make me?”

 

For a whole long minute, the only sound in the room was the one that came from the exterior. Lyanna and Domeric had never been what one would call close, most of their interactions limited to brief chance encounters where they barely spoke to each other, but from what little she knew of him, he always struck her as a rather apathetic and reserved person, who preferred to keep to himself for the most part. In that regard, he reminded her a bit of Arya’s cousin Jon, who was also of the aloof type. Anyway, for all of his rude demeanor and grumpiness, he had never been someone to lose his cool, so Lyanna had never seen him like this, and by the looks of it, neither her friend nor the kids.

 

He continued, chuckling. He was caressing his green ball now “That night, when you took me to that room so I could rest my head...The way you were taking care of me, looking at me...I was inebriated out of my mind, but I still had enough hold of my senses so as to see that my caretaker was visibly younger than me, yet there you were, taking care of me as if I were some little boy who had been caught getting hurt after playing outside with his friends and now needed to be supervised at all times. It was most comical and...Don’t know, for a brief instant, it reminded me of how my mother used to watch after me” _Of course, How come this doesn’t surprise me in the slightest?_ The respective defunct parent of each one... Lyanna had always had a deep suspicion that the weird mix of elements that had caused her friend’s ultimately disastrous marriage contained a slight touch of Electra and Oedipus complexes, but now she had more or less concrete proof of it. For some reason, it was a much more often occurrence nationwide than it would normally seem and, in her professional experience with other couples, it was a guaranteed recipe for domestic disaster. She had never known her own father, so she couldn’t be sure, but she was fairly optimistic that, were she to meet him, he would be nothing like her Benfred. _Best not to look for surrogate parents in our bed partners, lest we turn into our own children’s grandparents._

 

“The day we married, Remember it?” Arya’s voice was strained, but firm at the same time “When you comforted me after I had been crying all the morning? That day and the following ones were one of the best days of my life. We conceived the triplets then. What was the reason behind your reignited interest? Did your mother use to cry in her wedding dress when you were little?”

 

“At that time, I was just feeling so guilty. I had been ignoring you for most of the previous two months and you were there, crying, and…don’t know, the least I could do was to make you happy on the day of your wedding and...at the time I thought I could still try and be a good husband. Then you got pregnant and…”

 

“And you started panicking again once parenthood came back knocking on your door. Such a grown up you are” She bit her lip, deep in thinking “There’s this other thing I don’t understand: if it was the prospect of being a father you were so scared of, then why the constant jealousy? I still don't understand why you’d demean me from time to time, all but accusing me of messing around with other men and doubting the paternity of our kids”

 

“I guess I thought if I somehow pushed you into being unfaithful to me, that then I wouldn’t feel guilty for being such a craven and ignoring you. Then you started to get close to that mechanic with whom you had started that business partnership”

 

“Gendry”

 

“Yes, that one. It was ironic, that was more or less what I exactly wanted, right? But for one reason or the other, I didn’t fancy the idea that much anymore once it became an actual possibility. Anyway, it was a silly idea regardless, it wa- I mean, it’s apparent for all to see that I’m the biological father. Yes, I’m aware that’s my fault too. Robar may never wake up again, and Royce…and that’s because I am the biological father, because I gave them my tainted genes. You told me so yourself that day at the hospital”

 

“Shut up” Cut Arya “That wasn’t your fault, stupid”

 

“Then what am I doing here? It’s not like we are going to get back together, not that any of us want it, anyway”

 

“For the same reason I’m here, because we need to sort our shit out together, and to do that we need to face the facts and assume our faults. It’s your fault that I fell out with my mother, it’s your fault that I had to set my academic life aside for a good six years, it’s your fault that our marriage ended up being a failure” Something outside the window seemed to have caught her attention “But that other thing...that wasn’t your fault...not really. And if you came here, it is because you wanted to, because deep down, whether if it's too much for your hurt pride to take or not, deep down you seem to agree. So...I'm glad you did so, I'm glad you came. I needed this, you too" Domeric nodded in understanding

 

Lyanna smiled internally. For a moment, it looked like it would all fall flat right then and there. She knew that their marriage was going to be a strong point of contention, and it almost derailed the whole thing, but now they had sorted that steep part out and seemed to be advancing in long strides. She had to say, she was now more optimistic about the rest of the therapy. Now that they had discussed their past grudges, they only needed to address their present situation. _This is going to be hard too, better brace ourselves._

 

“Well, now moving along with our session, I think we should talk about…” It was then that she heard Randyll cough to her right.

 

"I'm glad to see you both have finally buried your hatchets. I was afraid to bring mine in too soon and turning this into some sort of Dornish Standoff. So, now that I can finally have my turn" A half smile crept its way to his face as he sent a resentful look to his mother “How fitting that you’d talk about assuming one’s faults, mom, cause it’s about time someone told you some truths” He was juggling his red ball. _By the weirdwood tree_ , _I knew it._


End file.
